Phones, light typing...and murder.
Think breaking into show business is hard? Try landing a temp job without office skills. That's the challenge facing aspiring actress Isobel Spice when she arrives in New York City, fresh out of college and deficient in PowerPoint. After being rejected by seven temp agencies for her lack of experience, Isobel sweet-talks recruiter James Cooke into letting her cover a last-minute vacancy at a bank. New to his own job, and recently sober, James takes a chance on Isobel, despite his suspicion that she's a trouble-magnet. His misgivings are borne out by lunchtime, when she stumbles across a dead secretary in a bathroom stall. With her fingerprints on the murder weapon, Isobel sets out to prove her innocence by investigating the crime herself. While learning to juggle phone lines and auditions, she discovers an untapped talent for detective work--a qualification few other office temps, let alone actresses, can claim.
Tell us about your most recent release.
My most recent release is Bad Publicity, the second installment in my series featuring Isobel Spice, aspiring actress/office temp turned amateur sleuth. The first book, The Temporary Detective, came out last year. The series follows Isobel from job to job, solving murders along the way, while she attempts to break into show business. It was inspired by my early years in New York, temping and pursuing an acting career—minus the dead bodies, of course!
What else do you have coming out?
I’m hard at work on the third Isobel book, And Justice For Some, but next up is a workshop of a musical my husband and I have written, based on the Wilkie Collins novella The Haunted Hotel. The Signature Theatre in Arlington, VA commissioned the piece and is presenting it this summer. We’re very excited to see it on its feet.
Is there anything you want to make sure potential readers know?
I write contemporary cozy mysteries with an edge, so there is some profanity and the occasional, non-graphic reference to adult situations. Most readers will find this negligible, but I recognize that it may be more than some cozy purists expect. But I write the way people talk, and for better or worse, New Yorkers are pretty colorful. Also, although they’re classic puzzle mysteries, the books also open a window into the day-to-day life of a working actor. Most people don’t have any idea what that’s like!
What's the most blatant lie you've ever told?
I am the world’s worst liar, which partly comes from being an actor. You’re trained to let the audience see what’s going on under the surface. Many people think if you’re a good actor, you’re a good liar when, in fact, the opposite is true.
What is the most demeaning thing said about you as a writer?
Any negative reviews I’ve gotten tend to be the literary equivalent of “He’s just not that into you.” It’s personal preference, which is par for the course. Thankfully, nobody’s said anything demeaning about my ability as a writer.
How do you react to a bad review of one of your books?
I usually go into a little bit of a funk, but then I reread some of the good ones. Sometimes I read other people’s bad reviews just to remind myself I’m not alone.
When are you going to write your autobiography?
Oh, probably never. I don’t think my life is all that interesting. Anything worth passing along goes in my fiction, disguised. That said, I know what I’d call it: How to Steal the Show While Playing the Ingénue. (One way: break your ankle and perform on crutches. Yup. Did that. And the show was…wait for it…Something’s Afoot.)
Are the names of the characters in your novels important?
Definitely. I think names project subtle things about your characters. Most of the time my characters show up wearing nametags, but sometimes, especially with minor characters, I have to stop and think. I actually wrote a blog post about this for Nameberry: http://nameberry.com/blog/literary-names-do-characters-name-themselves
What about the titles of your novels?
Also important. I almost always have the title first. The one time I didn’t was my first novel, Pandora’s Bottle. It’s based on the true story of the world’s most expensive bottle of wine and what happens to the owner when he opens it. I was certain there was some play on words that would be perfect, but I couldn’t hit on it. Then I thought, I bet it’s already in there somewhere. So I sat down and reread the manuscript with the sole purpose of finding that phrase, and there it was!
Are there any occupational hazards to being a novelist?
Not for me, but possibly for my friends. As Nora Ephron famously said, “Everything is copy.”
What's your favorite fruit?
Raspberries.
How many people have you done away with over the course of your career?
Four, if you add the one I knocked off yesterday.
Ever dispatched someone and then regretted it?
They all deserved it. In fact, two of them are based on real people I’d like to have offed, and I have a horrible neighbor whose number is going to come up in book five. Less jail time if you do it in fiction.
Have you ever been in trouble with the police?
I once tried to sneak into a bar with a fake ID. The bouncer looked at the photo and said, “That’s not you.” And I said, “I know. It’s my cousin.” See above, re: lying.
So when were you last involved in a real-life punch-up?
Sixth grade. Another girl was being mean to me, and I said, “If you don’t shut up, I’m going to flip you.” She didn’t, so I grabbed her around the waist and dropped her on her head. Fortunately (and strangely) this took place in the nurse’s office.
If you were going to commit the perfect murder, how would you go about it?
Can’t tell you. It’s coming in book four.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Who’s growing up? I plan to be buried in jeans and a T-shirt with my favorite stuffed animal.
What is your favorite bedtime drink?
A shot of Bushmills.
Do you ever wish that you had an entirely uncreative job, like data entry or working in a factory?
I did some of that sort of thing temping, and I think I’d go mad if I had to do it for longer than a day. I don’t know how people manage it and stay sane.
Do you believe in a deity?
Yes. Not necessarily an old man with a beard, but some kind of spiritual presence that responds to and influences our mental energy.
Do you ever write naked?
Seriously? My husband works from home. We’d never get anything done.
Who would play you in a film of your life?
Queen Latifah. Wrong in every way, but I just love her. In reality, I’d have to say Jane Adams, since I get mistaken for her on an almost daily basis.
What are the most important attributes to remaining sane as a writer?
You have to write what inspires you, not what other people think would make a great book or what you think will sell. You also have to not beat yourself up if you sit at your desk for an hour and nothing comes out. That’s part of the process, and you have to accept that on some level you are working. I wrote Pandora’s Bottle in three months, largely because I’d been percolating it subconsciously for several years.
Have you ever read or seen yourself as a character in a book or a movie?
Whenever I identify with a character it’s because on some level I recognize myself, but I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I’ve thought, “Oh, my God, that is absolutely me. How did they know?”
What is the single most powerful challenge when it comes to writing a novel?
Picking up where you left off.
What do you consider your biggest failure?
Apparently, I am incapable of making scrambled eggs without leaving a mess in the pan. My husband thinks I’m perfect—except for this.
Do you research your novels?
Yes. I don’t make myself nuts, but it’s important to me not to have any “stoppers.” I remember reading a book by Robert Ludlum that described the intersection of Chapel and Elm Streets in New Haven. I went to college in New Haven, and those streets run parallel. That really bugged me.
How much impact does your childhood have on your writing?
I first fell in love with mysteries reading Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden. Isobel Spice grew out of that tradition of the girl detective, but my early years in New York have had a greater impact on the books themselves.
What was the greatest thing you learned at school?
To be myself.
Do you laugh at your own jokes?
No, but I do tend to repeat the ones I think are particularly prime. Just in case nobody heard me the first time.
Do you admire your own work?
While I’m writing, I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written. Afterwards, not so much.
What are books for?
What aren’t they for?
Are you fun to go on vacation with?
I think so. I tend to be more adventurous than in my day-to-day life. But if you really want to know, you’d have to ask my husband and my kids.
How do you feel about being interviewed?
I love it! It makes me feel famous.
Why do you think what you do matters?
To be perfectly honest, there are days when I think, “What’s the point?” But I think that’s true of any endeavor. So, ultimately, I remind myself that it doesn’t have to have a point; what matters is the doing.
Have you ever found true love?
My husband. We met when I was 17 and he was 20. As my great aunt put it, we’re two halves of a nut.
How many times a day do you think about death?
Whenever I look at the news. Unfortunately.
Are you jealous of other writers?
Sometimes. But I don’t wish I were them; I just covet their level of success.
What makes you cry?
Watching other people being applauded. And music. Ever watch the flying scene in E.T. with the sound off? Try it, and you’ll see what I mean.
What makes you laugh?
I have a teenage boy’s sense of humor. Airplane, Holy Grail…that sort of thing.
What are you ashamed of?
That’s not a feeling I traffic in much.
What's the loveliest thing you have ever seen?
My kids hugging each other. It doesn’t get better than that.
“I wouldn’t go back if I thought there were an insane murderer on the loose,” Isobel said. “On the contrary, whoever did this was very sane. Let me tell you, I wanted to kill that woman after three hours.”
Delphi looked askance at Isobel. “You…didn’t, right?”
For some reason, Delphi asking her point-blank bothered her less than James’s confused hinting. “Of course I didn’t. But I don’t blame you for asking. You hardly know me.”
“It sounds like whoever did it also wanted to humiliate her,” Sunil mused. “I mean, think about it. Captured for all eternity on the pot!”
“Could it have been somebody from outside who came in, waylaid her in the bathroom, pulled the emergency bell and left?” Delphi asked.
Isobel shook her head. “She was such an unpleasant person that it just doesn’t seem random.”
“Then you definitely should not go back there, paycheck or no paycheck,” Delphi said.
Sunil nodded. “Delphi’s right.”
“You’re sweet to be so concerned, but I’ll be fine.” Isobel smiled. “It was really nice meeting you both. Good luck with everything.”
“I think you need it more than we do,” Sunil said.
As Isobel rode south on the subway, sardined between a bike messenger in need of deodorant and a young mother juggling twin toddlers, she wondered whether to take her new friends’ advice. No job was worth risking her life. But what about the other people at the bank? They were all continuing to show up for work, weren’t they? They had no choice. They all had jobs to do.
Well, so did she. She needed the money. James didn’t have anything else for her, and even if he did, he might not send her out again. She still hadn’t proven herself, not really.
And that was what she had come to New York to do. Prove herself.
Joanne Sydney Lessner is the author of BloodWrites Award-Winner and Awesome Indies Mystery Pick The Temporary Detective, which introduces Isobel Spice, aspiring actress and resourceful office temp turned amateur sleuth. Isobel’s adventures continue in Bad Publicity. Joanne’s debut novel, Pandora's Bottle (Flint Mine Press), which was inspired by the true story of the world’s most expensive bottle of wine, was named one of the top five books of 2010 by Paperback Dolls. No stranger to the theatrical world, Joanne enjoys an active performing career, and with her husband, composer/conductor Joshua Rosenblum, has co-authored several musicals, including the cult hit Fermat's Last Tango and Einstein's Dreams, based on the celebrated novel by Alan Lightman. Her play, Critical Mass, received its Off Broadway premiere in October 2010 as the winner of the 2009 Heiress Productions Playwriting Competition.
Joanne will be giving away the following prizes: At each stop, one ebook copy of her novel Pandora's Bottle, inspired by the world's most expensive bottle of wine. A grand prize of a $25 Amazon GC will be awarded to one randomly drawn commenter during the tour. One randomly drawn host will receive a paperback or ebook copy of her novel Pandora's Bottle.
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